Hi guys,

Just wondering if there is a better or worst way to come out to a friend? Especially if that friend happens to be sort of an homophobe, and a hypocrite, cause he messed around with a guy more than once a few years ago, and now he’s all anti-gay… Or should i even come out to him? or just forget him? He is my best friend, i´m like a brother he says… what to do?

Coming out to someone close is hard. Had two friends I have known about the same amounts of time say early high school, one was homophobic and the other is a doctor. I called each of them, the homophobe. I just rang up and said hi, we chatted and then I said. “I have something to tell you which might come between us but I think you deserve to know. I’m gay ” He went quiet then said “Should take you out back and give you a flogging, but your still the same guy I have always known just don’t go all pansy on me” The other, same thing he got angry and hung up on me. Thought shit lost a good friend there. But he called back the next day and apologized, and said he only reacted that way because he thought he knew me, and by coming out he felt he didn’t at all.

Lots of reasons why people accept and don’t accept, but be honest if he is a true friend he will understand, but give him space if he needs it. Its not easy for some to realise you have been lying to them all these years.

Whatever happens best of luck.

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