I was not really planing on doing it, but for the past several days I have not been able to sleep, I would wake up in the middle of the night sweating and my heart pounding. I could not eat anything and if I did, I had nausea all day. Yesterday at work after I ate some on my lunch, I started to feel nauseated and had to run to the restroom. There, my heart started pounding and I began to shake uncontrollably, I thought I was going to faint. I had to call one of my coworkers and my boss took me to a clinic. I thought I had some kind of stomach bug, but as I was taking to the Doctor about the symptoms she stopped checking me and simply sat down and began to talk to me. She immediately told me that I was having a panic attack. So basically I told her my whole story and the fact that I was gay. She did give me some prescription drugs, but she said that they were only going to help me for some time, that I had to do something and get to the root of the problem. I still do not know if the fact that I was hiding my sexuality was the cause of everything, but i decided to eliminate as much stress from my life as possible.

My Mom was ok with it. I had already told one of my sisters about a year ago. My Mom actually told me that she had discussed the possibility that I might be gay with all my sisters and my father, so basically I just confirmed it for her. I just told her to tell my dad, so there is no more guessing. I will see how it goes once my dad knows for certain that I am gay.

Thank you for reading. I just had to get it out. I can actually say that I am relieved.

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